'Ben has shown a little interest in the subject of life these last few weeks, but I feel he is slipping and could demonstrate and do so much more. He seems too accepting of some of the difficulties his life is throwing at him at the moment, and is quick to use these as excuses for his poor performance. Like a bottle of Orangina Ben needs a vigorous shake to wake himself up, I expect Ben to turn his underpar performance around with just a little more thought and effort'.
There we go, I have written myself an end of term report. I have been honest and today my friends I will begin to try harder.........
I have been a lazy, tired, demotivated individual for too long now, and today I am gonna give myself a shake and snap out of it. Enough is enough, there are a few things in my life that I am currently finding disappointing and I have no reason to think like this. With just a little bit more get up and go life will once again be fun, and full of the things I like to do.
Blog, or in my case what blog? For a year whilst training for IM Lanzarote I really enjoyed writing my blog, and I know there were a few people who liked reading it. Why no Blog for weeks and weeks and weeks, well I have just been too lazy to write something. There has been much to write about, life in general, training, racing etc etc I have had plenty of opportunities to spend an hour writing down a few thoughts, just couldn't be arsed.
Training, what training. Training and Exercise is what makes me the person I am. I love doing it and I am a little lost without it. Apart from riding to work, I have done very little of what I would call training. I have hardly lifted any weights, I have hardly run, I have hardly swam (ok that's not such a problem but I did say I'd try to swim once a week, and I do love swimming) Why? Well I am not going to list my excuses, they make pretty pathetic reading, too busy at work, rubbish. Too tired once I have put my girls in bed, rubbish. Garage too messy so can't get to my weights, rubbish (tidy it you lazy wan**r) No time at work for a lunch time run, rubbish too easy to drink coffee in the staff room. "My name is Ben Garrard and from today I am going to make more effort to do what I like doing"
I have two absolutely gorgeous girls. Ellie is a beautiful 5 year old full of life, enjoying school, thriving and loving learning. Evie is 2 1/2 years old, she is different to Ellie, she behave's and reacts differently to her sister. Ellie was a perfect little girl, Evie is different, she doesn't do the same things as Ellie did, she doesn't sleep like Ellie. She thinks the naughty step is a game. Six months ago all she would eat is sausages, now she says 'don't like them' It is me who needs to adjust, not Evie. Too often situations occur that upset me, but in hindsight it is not the situation that has upset me, but my inability to react appropriately to the situation in front of me. With Sarah I chose to have children, they are my life and having children is fabulous. I must not dwell on the difficult times, I must cope with the challenging times, but more importantly I must smile and enjoy their company.
I want to spend more time with Sarah. Well my friend sort it out!!!! I am busy, Sarah is busy but there is still plenty of opportunities in a week to spend time with her. I need to look more closely for those opportunities and I need to work harder to engineer time. "My name is Ben Garrard and as of today I will look for more opportunities and make more of the opportunities I have to spend time with my gorgeous wife"
As I write this Evie is sitting on the lounge floor next me making me smile as she tries to eat a Muller Crunch Corner Vanilla Choco Balls Yoghurt. She's been at it for 5 minutes, there is yoghurt on her top but it's not a problem, infact it's fun and her smiling face and cheeky manner make her who she is.
Great stuff, I feel like a new person. I think we have all been through times in our lives when things are just ticking along. My life was just ticking along, don't get me wrong even then there were some pretty great things happen, but like my desire to be the best at my sport, I want to be the best at my life, and for the past few months I have been underachieving.
Winter might be on it's way, it will be dark at 5.30 today, and spring might seem a long way off, but hey there are plenty of exciting months and events from now till then. Life can often be one long list of plans always looking forward to the future. Today and now is the only sure thing and that is what I want to enjoy. Have fun out there, do what you want to do, enjoy being you and enjoy those loved ones that you have chosen to surround yourself with. Must go now, Evie not quite understanding that Poo Poo's need to be done in the potty as well as Wee Wee's, just got to remove it from her knickers and plop it down the toilet...........